From Natasha Crawford
The Marriage Acadamy
http://www.natashacrawford.com/
he following is an article from the June newsletter
********************************************************
I love you.

It’s one of the most meaningful and vague sentences in American culture. When it comes to your marriage, you promise to love “’til death do us part.” Notice that in the previous sentence, love is a verb. This has nothing to do with that warm, fuzzy feeling you get. It has everything to do with what you do. Each partner in a marriage has to take responsibility for adding love into the relationship. Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always.

There are many small ways you can act lovingly towards your spouse. Here are just a few to get you started:- Give a compliment (on a new outfit, his smile, her intelligence, being a good parent, etc.)- Take out the trash- Cook his/her favorite meal- Buy a slice of his/her favorite dessert- Give a massage (without the expectation of sex to follow, but if it does – BONUS!)- Take a walk or go to the gym together- Send a love letter/email/text messageYou’ll notice that none of these require lots of time or money. Most acts of love are like that. It really is the small things that matter (I know it’s cliché, but it’s true). Be creative. Don’t be afraid to think out the box.

As the receiver of love please, please, please, make it easy for your partner. Tell her what works for you. If she’s constantly buying you jewelry and all you really want is a foot massage after a long day at work, she’s wasting money and you’re not getting your needs met. No one wins. Ask for what you want. She is not a mind reader. And none of that “hinting” either. Be clear. Be honest. Be specific.

A successful marriage, like a well-run car, requires maintenance. Find out the type of “maintenance” your partner requires and be diligent in expressing love for him/her in that way. The return on your investment will be well worth it. Try asking this question – Honey, other than sex, which ways would you prefer I express my love for you? Take note of the answers. Then do it!

For more thoughts on how to infuse acts of love into your relationship, check out The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.. If you don’t have time, I’ll be reviewing it in the next newsletter.

*My use of any particular pronoun is solely due to my annoyance with “he/she” and “his/her”

Posted under counseling